Where have I been? No really? What happened to me? Why hasn’t the blog been updated recently? WTF is going on? And so on. Yes I know what all is going through your head. All these questions that keep you up at night. Relax. Now that I am here I am not going to answer them. I would rather give you a review of the last movie that had the misfortune of being seen by me. Quantum of Solace.
Casino Royale was interesting. Finally Bond was not just another boy who loved to play with toys. He was no lazy bastard who depended on technology and lots of luck to save his butt. He actually kicked some ass. Unlike the other films where he just blows things up. I know guys are supposed to love that stuff and go oooooooooh and aaaaaaaaaah but we already had Ethan Hunt, Xander Cage and Mithun Da for that shit. So I went to see the QoS hoping for some entertainment. It didn’t entertain me but it did pain me.
As you know I am a man of few words. Here is my highly condensed but accurate review of the movie:
Bond wants revenge. Bond kills people. M grounds Bond. Bond goes rogue. Villain
steals water. Bond kills more people. Bond saves water. No naked women.
How Disappointing. Good thing the ticket was paid for by my dear friend S. Good man. Wish him more fertile growth on his pate.
You want to know the whole plot?
Alright, I will save ya a few hundred bucks. It was a very complex plot so I had to break it down in to simpler terms so you can understand it better.
Here is the plot of Quantum of Solace.
*****SPOILER ALERT******
DO NOT READ IF YOU INSIST ON WASTING SOME MONEY AND TIME!!!!
*****SPOILER ALERT******
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. In consectetuer nunc non dui. Donec sed justo. Cras at nulla a sem molestie porta. Integer ullamcorper magna non felis. Duis laoreet, massa nec euismod ullamcorper, velit tortor condimentum orci, sagittis ullamcorper mi odio sit amet ante. Sed ac nisl. Integer imperdiet, turpis nec pharetra consectetuer, sapien orci egestas orci, id posuere orci libero nec ipsum. Sed turpis. Mauris interdum, ante et mollis ornare, augue neque congue ligula, id sollicitudin arcu enim vel nunc. Aliquam iaculis nulla vitae est. Nunc sodales, quam a aliquet scelerisque, velit lacus cursus felis, vel accumsan dolor elit ac purus. Nulla aliquet sagittis diam. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Proin non libero pretium libero scelerisque congue. Vivamus laoreet. Proin elit tellus, ultricies sit amet, varius ut, dignissim at, lectus. Donec tempus congue ante. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas.
Yes this is all the sense I could make out of the plot. If you have better luck please put your own goddamn review moron.