When the initial bytes from the famous/infamous documentary on the Delhi gang rape first came out, my initial reactions were of anger and disgust. Not just at the men who uttered those horrific, remorseless words but at the society, the culture, and even the nation. I was seething with anger over something I did not choose to be associated with and yet will be carrying on my shoulder by the virtue of being born a male in this country. I was, and still am, a part of the society that failed Jyoti and thousands and thousands of unnamed women who are raped in this country every year.

Rape. How did we manage to take something as beautiful as sex and turn it into something so ugly? Sex is like poetry. How did it become a weapon? A weapon used in times of war and peace. A weapon used to target men, women and children. When did sex become about power, about revenge, about shaming? There are no answers because we are answerable. I am asking the questions nobody wants the answers to because the answers are not what we want to hear.

Any way this is not about that. Then came the ban. My initial reaction like most of us was outrage. I was angry at the ban and even angrier at the reasoning behind the ban. Some of the statements made by the politicians over the ban were so ridiculous, it was hard to believe these people were representing us, you and I.

Then I had some time to mull over it and I came to a conclusion that I actually was in favour of the ban. Thinking helped me get rid of the emotionally tainted thoughts and the anger that seemed to be influenced by the mob mentality. I put aside everything else and thought for myself. And I found my reasons as an individual to support the ban.

I can’t get myself to quote that man or his pathetic defence lawyers but if you recollect his words, it is nothing but blaming everything on the woman. He is projecting himself as a victim of the circumstances created by the woman’s actions. As per him, if she had behaved the way the great patriarchal Indian society expects women to behave, this would not have happened. He goes on to even blame her death of her resisting them and not accepting it as her fate like she should have been programmed to by the Indian culture. You are disturbed by his statements? I am worried. Worried because these words will resonate affirmatively in millions of heads who actually believe that women have no right to be out late at night with men who are not their family members. These people will buy his victim theory. They will blame her. And next woman who is raped. And the woman after that. Where does this stop?

If he convinces the society that he is a victim, it is not the even the biggest threat. What happens next is far worse. I do believe that he will be executed eventually. But once he is firmly established as the victim in this case, his death will make him a martyr in the eyes of a few. A fucking martyr. We cannot let this happen. We absolutely cannot let this happen. It will be the biggest travesty and all the hard work being done to change the mindset of the society towards the treatment of women and sexism will all go to waste due to death of a man who shouldn’t have been alive to utter these words.

Yes, there is a need to create awareness and tackle this demon that keeps rearing its head too often to be blamed on anything but us. But this is not the way to go about it. Do whatever it takes to ban this. We cannot let him become the victim. We cannot afford to let him become a martyr. For if he does, we will be burying many, many more Jyotis in the near future. There wont be enough candles left for the candle marches. Not enough humanity will be left to fight for. For we would have all become Mukesh Singh.