What’s in a name?
What’s in a name you say? A whole lot of pain if you ask me. And that’s the lesson I and Amkag, remember my friend who flew in from
Lets start with Saturday. The FIRST Saturday of the month. Which meant I had to go to work and do no work. I reached office late, real late but there were still barely any people there. However few more people turned up by noon, unable to resist the lure of free lunch.
Over the next one hour we were run through the numbers for the previous month. There were lots of them in black and a few in red so I guess we did OK. Post the Presentation we were all treated to free lunch as promised J. There two chicken dishes for us animal eaters. I couldn’t tell one from one from another but they both were tasty. There was some veggie stuff too but I didn’t get any where near that.
After a heavy lunch, well it was free so we all stuffed ourselves, who could have done anything productive. So we all sat around playing games and stuff till Little Nat and I decided that we will go to the local grey market for stuff, electronics for me and white KitKat for her. Neither of us got what we wanted but I ended up with 2 boxes of stuff to put in my hair.
We moved on from there on to the Hypercity where I disclosed to her the secret ingredients of my super famous sandwich from where we headed to InOrbit mall where I picked up sugar cubes for the Green Fairy ritual and introduced her to lots of different beers. I still had no luck with the Nokia headset for Amkag and she couldn’t find shoes she would want to buy. So she headed back and I headed home. I was supposed to meet R for dinner so took a quick shower, changed and I was out of home.
I met R at Firangi Dhaba, which opened recently near my apartment. We went for dinner but ended up with 2 starters and 2 glasses of her regular wine and 2 bottles of Heineken for me, and I ate most of them. Over our so called dinner we talked about totally inane and random things. Including the plural of sheep and more profound things about life and such. Soon I realized it was past 11 so I dropped R at her place and headed to the international airport.
On the way I was reminded by his girlfriend and my dearest friend, lets call her RR, to pick up Amkag from the airport. I was told in a very sweet voice and kind words that basically if he gets in to any trouble then I am dead. Oh boy, I don’t need to find trouble remember? I reached airport and was on the phone with RR most of the time till Amkag escaped the clutches of the airport security and came out. And on the cue it started to rain Mumbai ishtyle. Luckily the rains stopped soon. Amit was carrying a laptop bag, a bag and a huge suitcase, with huge being an understatement, and all of 5 of us found ourselves in a cab with a Sardarji on the way to Orchid hotel.
So we told the Sardarji that we want to go to Vile Parle and he was fine with it. Once we reached Vile Parle Sardarji asked us where did we want to go and we told him that we wanted to go to the Orchid hotel. He said he didn’t know where it was but would find it. Amkag knew as much about Mumbai as I knew about my life, and I would rather trust a blind man’s sense of direction than my own. So we entrusted the Sardarji to deliver us safely at Orchid.
Turned out there was a huge jam on the highway so Sardarji took a U-turn and went wrong way swearing at all those who were driving the right way. He went through different lanes from here and there and we ended up again at an intersection with the traffic jam right in front of us. He finally admitted he had no idea where the Orchid was so we went on to ask a rickshawalla. That guy gave us the directions. Upon hearing the directions the Sardarji reacted as if we had insulted his mother!
“Why were you guys saying Orchid when you wanted to go to Orchid?”
“But we want to go to Orchid”
“I know Orchid but you said Orchid!”
“Yes Orchid. That’s where we want to go.”
“But you said Orchid!”
“Yes Orchid”
“Again you are saying Orchid. Its Orchid!”
We Gave up. In case you are confused about what the hell actually happened, let me tell you that the whole confusion was over the pronunciation of the letters “ch” in Orchid. The Sardarji was on a rant all the way to the “Orchid”, which thankfully wasn’t that far away. Once we got off we offered him extra 20 bucks apologetically for not knowing how to say “Orchid” and causing him so much inconvenience.
Once inside Orchid we had to figure out what to do with the luggage as we had no plan to check in but to rather spend some time in the Merlinz Bar for a few drinks. Apparently the requirement for employment at Orchids is that you must have worked for few months in a government office. We were sent from desk to desk to 4 different people before we could finally dump the luggage and check in our tired asses in to Merlinz.
Merlinz is a karaoke bar. Which translates in to a place where you down lots of alcohol quickly to get over the terrible singing of the people around you. We walked in to someone singing Stairway to heaven and things went down the stairs from there. We were there for little over an hour. Long enough to down a couple of Coronas and sing Radio ga ga. We caught up about life and women. Once they started packing up we headed back to my place.
Back at my place Sean was already sleeping. We quietly had dinner before Amkag opened the Pandora’s box, I mean his suitcase. I got a mini coliseum, a mini statue of something, 3 bars of Remy Martin liquor chocolates, a Box of Dutch Truffles, a barter TShirt and of course the Green Fairy.
Now that I have a Coliseum I can actually put 2 ants in it and feel like a Roman emperor watching the gladiators fight till death. Though I think they will probably be more interested in climbing their way out of it. Stupid ants! Such a spoilsport they are. Now the 3 Bars of Remy Martin have to be divided between Me, Little Nat, Mermaid and some fans of mine. The Truffles have been cryogenically frozen till Mermaid decides to claim them. And the Green Fairy….hmm…well….I’ll have to really think whom do I want to share her with. Lets see who all can convince me to do that.
Now was the problem of sleeping. Sean was already in lala land. There was one bed remaining so I ended up sleeping on my beanbag. In the morn we reached the airport and I saw him off. Came back and slept snuggling the Green Fairy.