I have to start this one with 2 announcements. One, yesterday was Jhayu’s birthday. He is one year closer to hitting puberty. Two, from now Lil Nat will be known as Bunny Singh. Now that we have these out of the way lets get started people, what the hell are we waiting for?

Well this part as you can read clearly, if not get your eyes checked, is supposed to tell you what I did in Goa. But it won’t. Then why the fuck am I wasting your time? Because others have better things to do. Anyway now that I have set the right expectations let me proceed.

So where was I? Right. I was in bed. I had spent most of Sunday evening shopping for important things to take on the trip. So I woke up and gave my packed suitcase/ backpack/ garbage bag, it suffers from identity crisis, a finishing touch. Then went through usual boring routine of getting ready for work. All set to leave I picked up my backpack and “Snap!”, one of the straps came off. Gah! The people at G******o make awesome bags. They look good. They are built to withstand the battering journeys. They keep anything you keep inside them safe. But, all of the above is valid as long as you don’t lift the backpack. Once you lift the backpack on your shoulders everything falls apart! I had the same exact problem with the bag on my last trip and I had given it to them for repairs. They had promised me that it was fixed. Apparently I and G******o are not on the same plane when it comes to defining “fixed”.

So I did what most people do. I fixed it by looping strap through the hoops and tying it in knots. There, now that’s what I call “fixed”. Morons. Put on my spanking new sunglasses, yes I finally gave up and bought the KC ones, and headed to work. There was too much excitement at work for productivity. We pretty much killed time till it was well and truly dead. We killed it again just to be sure. And again. It was finally saved from more violations when they called us to board the bus.

The 100+ employees of P******m crammed in to the two buses and we headed to the railway station, which seemed to be halfway between Mumbai and Goa. It took us like an hour to get there! Just as we trudged off the bus and thought the worst part was over, well it obviously wasn’t. Indian Railways seems to have developed a sense of humor. Either that or Lalu is trying to land the role of the Riddler in the next Batman movie. Every bogie has a chart on it with names of the passengers. Whats so funny or cryptic about that you ask? Well it turned out that each and every one found their names on 3 to 5 bogies. I mean seriously WTF is with that. What followed was utter chaos.

So first I boarded the AC chair car. Then I was told to go to the AC Sleeper. Went there only to be told we need to go to the 10th sleeper bogey. Reached there to be told that I am supposed to be in the middle one. Reached there only to find out I have to go to the AC Char car. Gah! And all this was done with my backpack on my back. So I was doomed to spend the night with other P******mers in the chair car, sitting till we reached Goa at around 5 am. BTW the train was called Gareeb Rath. Some Gareeb Rath it was! I cant believe how they pull this one off at such ridiculously low fares. Any way that’s none of my business. It was my first train trip in a long long time and it was quite enjoyable. We played Uno, teen patti, poker all night long as obviously we couldn’t sleep, much to the dismay of others who had the misfortune of being in the same coach and had intentions of sleeping. Tough luck.

Around midnight 3 guys came to us. They were sent to teach us how to tie knots. WTF?? I can tie my shoelaces quite well but yea I guess I could do with some tips on tying a knot. The necktie knot I mean. But it turned that to tie a knot and to knot a tie and two different things altogether. They taught me 6 knots. I cant remember the name of any one of them. Lets not even talk about the tying of knots parts. At 4:30 we reached goa. Rest will follow later.